And the years are short.
That is the mantra of my life. You know the 3 fast forward options on the remote-slow, medium, and lightning speed? I stepped into adulthood and someone pressed the fast forward button, then they pressed it again when I had Everett, and again when I had Finn. I blink and Everett is talking to me about some interesting thing he learned or imagined, I blink again and Finn has outgrown his clothes again, I blink and try to hold the memories close.
The look of pure joy on Everett’s face when he played in the ocean, the sweet smile Finn gives me when I say his name, the way their giggles light up the room. Memories that are made anew every day and fade just as quickly.
Of course I remember the big stuff, but the fun (and sometimes not so fun) details keep slipping away. It makes me sad that my brain isn’t capable of storing all of the “Everett-isms” I hear daily or knowing that one day I’ll forget that Finn weighed in at 21.5 pounds at his 9 month checkup (I certainly can’t tell you how much Everett weighed at 9 months!). I hope when he’s older, I’ll still remember that he called ankles “foot elbows” and his first word for music was “snickles.” That when he’s chased he laughs hysterically and shouts about scary monsters chasing him. When he gets scared/sad he says “snuggle me me” and when I do, he follows it up with a tender “mama I love you so much” I just melt into a puddle.
Last week, we went to the beach with my family. It already feels like it happened weeks, not days ago. My exact memories are already fading, slowly being replaced by snippets of memories, like the full body laughs Everett and my mom shared while in the water. Finn cuddled up with my aunts. Everett being so proud of my dad catching seaweed. Sumed up, contentment and happiness, and I guess that isn’t so bad.
What are your favorite memories of your children?
